Author: Steve Melcher

Joseph Franque, French

That Look When You Can’t Remember Where You Parked Your Army, ca. 1812

Oil on canvas

David Wilkie, British

“Okay Folks, Joke’s Over. I Really Need To Find That Restroom Key Or There’s Going To Be a Problem. Hello? Is Anybody Still Here?,” 1812

Oil on panel

Jacques-Louis David, French

“Dang! I Knew If I Got a Belly Button Ring I Wouldn’t Be Able To Stop Playing With It,” 1812

Oil on canvas

Anicet Charles Gabriel Lemonnier, French

“Wait! Everybody Shut Up! I Think I Hear the Ice Cream Truck!,” 1812

Oil on canvas

Jean Carolus, Belgian

“Aha! I See You’re Writing Me To Demand a Divorce. Not To Nitpick, But You Spelled ‘Philanderer’ Wrong,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Jean Carolus, Belgian

“There’s Nothing To ‘Get,’ Ma’am. It’s a Landscape Painting,” 1889

Oil on canvas

Charles Gregory, British

“Excuse Me Folks, But One of My Men Has a Touch of Explosive Diarrhea. Would You Mind Terribly If He Used Your Loo?,” 1884

Watercolor

Albin Egger-Lienz, Austrian

Sofia Suddenly Blanked in the Middle of Her Kindergarten Entrance Exam. What WAS the Central Theme of “Green Eggs and Ham?” C’mon Girl — You Know This!, 1895

Oil on panel