Author: Steve Melcher

Wilhelm Marstrand, Danish

Today’s “That Is Priceless” Is Brought To You By…Durex XXL Condoms. Don’t Get “Caught” With Any Other Brand. Durex., 1832

Oil on canvas

Frank Earle Schoonover, American

“Don’t Lie To Me, Edgar! I Know You’re Drunk, Because the Room Is Spinning,” 1912

Oil on canvas

Brynolf Wennerberg, Swedish

“Wait — That Guy Painting Us Is Brynolf Wennerberg? I Would’ve Guessed It Was Pollock. Or Maybe Keith Herring,” 1914

Photomechanical print

Pierre-Auguste Renoir, French

“Okay, I’m Going To Explain This One More Time, Dear, Since It’s Apparently Still Not Sinking In. We Get the Salesman To Agree on the Overall Price of the Car FIRST. Only THEN Do We Talk Monthly Payments,” 1906

Oil on canvas

Georg Friedrich Kersting, German

Sure, Neil’s Rifle Technique Was Unorthodox, But He Found It Kept Folks From Sneaking Up Behind Him, 1829

Oil on panel

Artist Unknown

“Oh, Good! Gatsby Just Brought Out the Pickleball Rackets. Shall We?,” 1926

Illustration

Gerard Thomas, Flemish

“I Know It Looks Weird. I Asked Her If She Wanted To Postpone To Some Day Her IBS WASN’T Acting Up, But She Insisted,” 1700-10

Oil on canvas

Artist Unknown

“I Appreciate You Wanting To Give Me a Nickname, Lady, But ‘Horny’ Isn’t Really Working For Me. And I’m Not a Big Fan of ‘Unic’ Either,” ca. 1510

Oil on canvas