Author: Steve Melcher

George Baxter, English

“All Right, We Saved Your Ass This Time, Higgins. But From Now On, No More Walking and Texting,” ca. 1855

Illustration

Will Crawford, American

“Rudolph, With Your Nose So Bright, Won’t You Guide My Sleigh Tonight? I Would Think Very Carefully Before You Answer If I Were You,” 1912

Photomechanical print

Frederick Childe Hassam, American

“Listen, I Understand That As the Creamer You Feel Overshadowed By the Teapot, But I’m Getting a Little Tired of This ‘Pour ME’ Routine,” 1912

Oil on canvas

Artist Unknown

“Open Up! Don’t You Want To Grow Up Big and Strong Like Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson’s Publicists?,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

John Singleton Copley, American

Poseidon Playing Water Polo in the Olympus Games, ca. 1754

Oil on canvas

Leonardo da Vinci, Italian

The Mona Lisa’s High-Maintenance Sister, the Mona Karen, ca. 1474-78

Oil on panel

Alfred Overton, British

“That’s a Bummer the Vet Was Closed, Rusty. Oh Well — Looks Like I’ll Just Have To Neuter You Myself,” 1949

Oil on board

Frederic Remington, American

“Huh. Still Nobody. I Told You We Should’ve Called To Confirm Before Coming All the Way Out Here,” 1889

Oil on canvas