Author: Steve Melcher

Wilhelm Bendz, Danish

“Wow, the Lag on this FaceTime Call Is Really Annoying, Honey. Just How Old IS This iPad?,” 1830

Oil on canvas

Tibout Regters, Dutch

“Huh? Oh, Right Down the Hall On Your Left. And If You Would Be So Kind, Good Sir, Grant Me the Favor of a Courtesy Flush,” 1747

Oil on panel

Vittorio Reggianini, Italian

“Dearest, Would You Mind Terribly If I Joined Your Sisters To Watch the End of the Cowboys-Niners Game? We Can Always Pick Up This Proposal Tomorrow,” Before 1938

Oil on canvas

Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg, Danish

Oh Dear. It Turns Out That When Dawn’s Husband Vowed He Would Sit Naked Atop the Flagpole in the Middle of the Town Square Before He Ate Her Confounded Meatloaf Again, He Wasn’t Bluffing, 1845

Oil on canvas

Leopold Carl Müller, Austrian

“Okay, First Word! Sounds Like…’Massage?,'” 1882

Oil on canvas

Theodore Gérard, Belgian

“Being 85, Naturally Your Grandfather and I Assumed It Was Safe To Stop Using Birth Control, But SURPRISE!,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Friedrich Ritter von Friedländer-Malheim, Bohemian-Austrian

“Oh, This Is New. Before I Can See the Painting I Have To Prove I’m Not a Robot By Tapping All the Pictures With Traffic Lights,” 1889

Oil on panel

Bartholomäus Sarburgh, German

“It’s Not a Hat. It’s a Solar Panel for a Sex Machine,” 1625

Oil on oak panel