Author: Steve Melcher

Victor Gabriel Gilbert, French

It Was at That Moment That Sophie Happened To Glance at the Headline: “Local Cherry Shipment Linked To Outbreak of Uncontrollable Diarrhea,” Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Nicolas Régnier, Southern Netherlandish

Sure, Joe Had Woken Up Next To a Date With a Burning Sensation Before, But Never Quite Like This, Early 1620s

Oil on canvas

Hendrik van de Sande Bakhuyzen, Dutch

Legendary Cow Painter Claude Moo-net Glaring at His Rival, Henri Ma-Teats, With Whom He Had Beef, 1850

Oil on panel

Jaun Giménez Martín, Spanish

“I Understand Your Frustration, Melissa. I Do. But If You Really Wanted an Exclusive Relationship, You Probably Shouldn’t Have Joined a Harem,” Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Paul Claude-Michel Carpentier, French

“Okay, There. I Painted Timothée Chalamet With His Shirt Off. Now Will You Two Please Beat It?,” 1833

Oil on canvas

William Dyce, British

1837

Oil on canvas

Raphaelle Peale, American

After a Long Day in the Fruit Bowl, Clementine Liked To Un-Rind With a Good Book, 1815

Oil on panel

John William Godward, British

Despite Great Reviews, Levitating Livia’s Show at Caesar’s Palace Closed Due To Disappointing Ticket Sales, 1891

Oil on canvas

Leonardo da Vinci, Italian

Lady With a Cat Lady With an Ermine (Due To Cat Allergy), ca. 1490

Oil and tempera on panel