Joseph Paelinck, Belgian
“Okay, Who’s the Wise Guy Who Stole My Charging Cord? I’m Down to 3%,” 1819
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3674
/// One would think that a King ought to know
how a good Royal Portrait should go.
William I, (Netherlands),
by the way that he stands,
sports a prominent deep camel toe.
/// It may be just a trick of the light
casting shadows on trousers so white,
but he’s managed to hide
that in which men take pride—
a tough trick when your pants are so tight.
/// My solution may be too simplistic,
(and it’s certainly anachronistic).
His appeal could increase
with a modest codpiece,
but it seems William’s not narcissistic.
/// Dutch King William wore capes by designers
who used velvet with pure ermine liners.
Ex-Prince Andrew is worse,
(“er-mine” said in reverse),
it’s accused he abused many minors.