Author: Steve Melcher

Julius LeBlanc Stewart, American

Five Friends Playing That Game Where You Try To Be the Last To Vomit, 1890

Oil on canvas

Alfred W. Elmore, Irish

“Tell Me If I’m Wrong, But I’m Going To Take This Minute of Awkward Silence As a ‘No,'” 1860

Oil on canvas

José María Obregón, Mexican

“We Offer These Gifts in Humble Tribute, Your Imperial Highness. But If You’d Rather Have Cash, We Could Always Just Venmo You,” 1869

Oil on canvas

Marguerite Gérard, French

“It’s From Mr. Darcy. He Wants To Connect on LinkedIn,” 1808

Oil on canvas

William Sydney Mount, American

“I’m Seeing That You’ll Soon Be Pre-Approved For a Capital One Credit Card. Sorry, I’ve Been Getting a Lot More Spam Recently,” 1838

Oil on canvas

Évariste Carpentier, Belgian

Becky Didn’t Understand Why This Kept Happening: One Minute She Was Taking a Head Count of Her Flock, and the Next She Was Out Like a Light, 1882

Oil on panel

Henri-Joseph Boichard, French

“Madam, Please Do Me the Honor of Accepting This Offering In Exchange For Your Daughter’s Hand. I Assume You’re Good With Laundromat Tokens?,” 1827

Oil on canvas

Georg Scholz, German

The Artist Was Hired To Paint a Woman’s Bust. Having Forgotten To Ask Which Kind They Meant, He Decided To Cover His Bases (also known as “Hey, Meine Augen Sind Hier Oben.”), 1927

Oil on canvas

John Watson Nicol, British

Great Moment in Phallic Fool-ic Portraiture, 1895

Oil on canvas