Author: Steve Melcher

Hermann Kern, Austrian-Hungarian

Lester, About To Learn the Hard Way That You Should Never Drink and Bassoon, Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Édouard Vuillard, French

“This Is Certainly One of the Most Impressive Resumes I’ve Ever Seen, Mr. Ferguson. Though I’m Not Sure How Being the 1928 Armpit Fart Regional Champion Will Help You Manage a Bank,” 1930

Oil on canvas

Mary Cassatt, American

Mother Teaching Daughter the Most Flattering Angle To Take a Selfie, ca. 1905

Oil on canvas

Edmund Birckhead Bensell, American

Another Painting By That Dude Who Sucks At Drawing Faces, 1878

Chromolithograph

Charles-Édouard Boutibonne, French

A Croquet Match Between the Sisters of Edgeworth Manor, Two of Whom Showed Up Drunk, 1871

Oil on panel

Giovanni Battista Moroni, Italian

Even at Their Tender Age, It Was Clear the Girls Had Inherited Their Mother’s Eyes and Their Father’s Hairline, ca. 1572-75

Oil on canvas

Augusta Lebaron-Desves, French

When Coca-Cola Appropriated St. Nick For Its Advertising, the Coffee Industry Struck Back With a Jolly Christmas Character of Its Own: Sanka Claus, 1843

Oil on canvas

Per Krafft the Elder, Swedish

“Here’s How This Works: If I’m Pleased With Your Portrait, I Shall Leave This Lever Just So. However, If I Am Displeased, I Shall Pull Said Lever and Drop You Into the Fetid Sewers Beneath the Castle. But the Important Thing Is To Have Fun With It,” ca. 1767

Oil on canvas