Author: Steve Melcher

Jules Girardet, French

The Ankle Flash Was Just a Teaser. If Gustave Wanted To See Some Toe, He’d Have To Go To Her OnlyFans Page, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Jan Daemen Cool, Dutch

Doctor Cornelis van der Heijde and His Wife, Who Just Got the Results of Her Latest Pregnancy Test, 1639

Oil on canvas

J.A.G. Acke, Swedish

“Of Course You Can Get a Selfie With Me, Young Man. Would You Prefer a Painting, Tapestry, or Statue?,” 1881

Oil on canvas

William Powell Frith, English

Of Course Carolyn Was Nervous. It Was Her First Day As Junior VP of Wraps and Shawls and She Didn’t Want To Blow It. Or She’d Be Looking at Two More Years As Assistant Director of Underpants, 1856

Oil on canvas

Michael Peter Ancher, Danish

“So This Thing Didn’t Work on Rocks and Now It Doesn’t Work on Sand. I Say We Just Chuck the Piece of Crap Into the Ocean. Who’s With Me?,” 1883

Oil on canvas

Alois Binder, Austrian-German

Girl Being Painted By Salvadoor Dali, 1887

Oil on canvas

Thomas Couture, French

Before “Are We There Yet?,” There Was “Is He Done Painting Us Yet?,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Sir John Lavery, Irish

“Okay, What Do the Diving Board Instructions Say To Do Next? This Doesn’t Feel Right. Are You Sure You Didn’t Skip a Page?,” 1938

Oil on canvas