Edmund Blair Leighton, English
“Hey, So You’re a Milkmaid? I’ve Got a Good One For You: Why Do Cows Have Hooves Instead of Feet? Because They Lactose! Get It? Okay, That Was Kind of Cheesy, So Here’s Another One…” 1920
Oil on panel
Edmund Blair Leighton, English
“Hey, So You’re a Milkmaid? I’ve Got a Good One For You: Why Do Cows Have Hooves Instead of Feet? Because They Lactose! Get It? Okay, That Was Kind of Cheesy, So Here’s Another One…” 1920
Oil on panel
Alfred Diston, British
Suddenly, the Idyllic Silence of the Countryside Was Shattered By the Vendor’s Strident Call: “Asparagus Spears! Get Yer Red-Hot Asparagus Spears Heah!,” 1828
Watercolor and graphite on moderately thick, slightly textured, cream wove paper
Peder Severin Kroyer, Norwegian
Annual Meeting of the Society For the Construction of Larger Conference Tables, 1888
Oil on canvas
Raimundo de Madrazo y Garreta, Spanish-Italian
Note To Artists: If You Hire Tiffany As a Model, You’d Best Keep an Eye on Her, Because She WILL Find Your Liquor Cabinet, ca. 1885
Oil on canvas
Cornelis Cornelisz Van Haarlem, Dutch
“Sorry, I’ve Got a Policy Against Having Sex With Court Jesters. But We Can Fool Around a Little,” 1595
Oil on canvas
Rembrandt van Rijn, Dutch
“Oh, Hello There. You’re Probably Searching For Taylor Swift’s ‘Tortured Poets Department.’ This Is a Tortured Poet’s A-partment. Now If You Don’t Mind, I’m Trying To Finish This Stupid Stanza,” 1631
Oil on canvas
Gilbert Stuart, American
The Right Honorable William Brownlow, With the Paper Hat He Wears at His Fry Cook Job, ca. 1790
Oil on canvas
Winslow Homer, American
“But Soft, What Light Through That There Yonder Window Is Fixin’ To Break? It Is the East, and Amber-Lynn Is the Sun, I Reckon,” 1874
Watercolor, gouache, and graphite on wove paper
Ettore Forti, Italian
“The Great Thing About This Piece Is Its Versatility. Displayed Like So, It’s Purely Ornamental. Orrr…You Can Take Off the Top and Use It As a Toilet Paper Holder,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
Hendrick ter Brugghen, Dutch
Can You Solve Today’s “Priceless Puzzle?” We’re Looking For a Common Phrase (ANSWER BELOW), 1629
Oil on panel
(ANSWER: “A Good Night’s Sleep”)