Author: Steve Melcher

Artist Unknown

“Yeah, I Might Have Overdone It With the Fertilizer On My Portabello Mushrooms This Year,” 1799

Watercolor on paper

Thomas Christian Wink, German

“With All Due Respect, When It Comes To Affordable Housing, You’re More Like Alexander the Meh,” 1782

Oil on copper

Wilhelm von Kobell, German

Now That the Field Had Gotten Plowed, Father Figured It Was His Turn, 1800

Watercolor

 

William-Adolphe Bouguereau, French

That Creepy Mom Who Breastfeeds Her Kids Until They’re 8, 1871

Oil on canvas

Charles Spencelayh, English

The Painting That Got Steven Spielberg Cancelled, 1931

Oil on canvas

Angelica Kauffmann, British

“Okay, Let’s Try Not To Make the Same Mistake You Made With the Last Girl. Remember, Don’t Bring Up the Topic of Your Crushing Student Loan Debt Until At Least the Second Date,” 1790

Oil on canvas

Jacob Philipp Hackert, German

“Ahoy, Good Sir! I Have Traveled From Afar in Search of Rare and Valuable Treasure. In My Case, a Pair of Pants With a 50-Inch Inseam,” 1794

Oil on canvas

Elias Martin, Swedish

Kevin Suddenly Realized There’d Been a Terrible Mistake. What Did This Have To Do With Data Entry? Yes, Starting Tomorrow, He Was Definitely Going To Have To Look For a New Temp Agency, 1782

Oil on canvas

Edward Poynter, British

“Noooooo! I’m Begging You, Orpheus. Please Don’t Make Me Go Watch Your Band Play Again” 1862

Oil on canvas

T.H. Matteson, American

“Fellow Members, In Light of Your Vote of No Confidence, I Hereby Resign as Head of the Diversity Committee,” 1857

Oil on canvas