Author: Steve Melcher

Aelbert Jansz. van der Schoor, Dutch

Not Only Did Hendrik Love the Look of His New Beard, He Found It Doubled Nicely As a Whisk Broom, 1647

Oil on panel

George Catlin, American

Running Bear Was the Only Witness To the Great Chocolate Heist, and He Wasn’t Talking. Had the Thief Threatened Him To Keep Quiet? I Guess We’ll Never Know, 1844

Oil on canvas

Paul Jamin, French

“On Second Thought, Let’s Just Do Takeout. I Know a Good Neanderthal Place,” 1885

Oil on canvas

Richard Redgrave, English

“Don’t Worry, Cinderella. After Each Girl Tries on the Slipper, We Spray It With That Stuff They Use on Bowling Shoes,” 1842

Oil on canvas

Edmund Birckhead Bensell, American

On the Plus Side, Due To Their Boatman’s Failure To Successfully Get Them To the Dock, the Women Didn’t Have Toupée, 1878

Illustration

Henry Caro-Delvaille, French

Whenever They Forecast Rain, Judy Wore Her “Hatbrella,” ca. 1910

Oil on board

Laurits Andersen Ring, Danish

“I Probably Should’ve Mentioned This Before You Started Last Week, But I’m Now Thinking We Should Do Aluminum Siding Instead,” 1908

Oil on canvas

Eugene von Blaas, Italian

“That’s It. You’ve Insulted My Fabric Softener For the Last Time. You Wanna Go? Let’s Go,” 1899

Oil on canvas

After Hans Holbein the Younger, German

“Ahhh, So You Have Traveled to the New World. Tell Me, Good Sir. What Is This ‘Ozempic’ One Hears Tale Of?,” ca. 1540s

Oil on wood panel