James Dromgole Linton, English
“Yes, I Understand That $10,000 Seems Like a Lot For a Painting, But To Fully Appreciate Its Value, You Must Consider the History, the Craftsmanship, the Exquisite Attention To Detail…And, Of Course, the Kilo of Coke Hidden in the Back of the Frame,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
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/// Buying artwork, The two Connoisseurs
exchange views on the piece each prefers.
Each as well understands—
before cash can change hands,
he must ask if his rich spouse concurs.
/// They have been bosom buddies since ten.
Double-dated again and again.
They wear more lace and silk
than their wives, and their ilk
all prefer to be “men among men.”
/// These two close friends both married for money.
Their naive wives perceived nothing funny
about hours her man spent
with an art-loving gent
who flamboyantly called his pal “honey.”
/// When the painting is, frankly, not great
(of a subject you more or less hate)
and you’re asked if you’ll buy,
there’s a chance you’ll comply
if the frame is absurdly ornate.