James Henry Beard, American
Albert Had Never Known the Identity of His Father, But As He Grew Older, He Increasingly Suspected Santa Claus, 1859
Oil on canvas
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
Oscar could never figure out why people kept calling him OREO.
/// It’s ironic that John Henry Beard
paints white whiskers that haven’t been sheared.
V.I.P., we presume,
but a Portrait of whom?
We’re not told who he is… and that’s weird!
/// Lincolnesque look, and yet not the same.
He appears like a man who’s earned fame.
I try hard, but can’t place
where I’ve seen that strong face.
Why did Beard not supply the man’s name?
/// Politician, perhaps, or a teacher,
or a fierce anti–slavery preacher.
That face might hunt for whales—
a ship’s captain who sails
in pursuit of a ghostly white creature.
/// The man’s eyes have a look that seems haunted.
He has seen things, and yet he’s undaunted.
Though his scalp doesn’t age,
his beard’s white like a sage.
(Striking facial hair’s something he flaunted.)
/// He’s an actor in Westerns, dagnabbit!
But he shaves daily— can’t break the habit.
His next part, as he feared,
“Gabby,” calls for a beard,
so his chin-warmer’s fashioned from rabbit.