Julius Exner, Danish
“There’s No Need To Be Frightened, Little Girl. Haven’t You Ever Seen Someone With Two Left Feet Before?,” 1853
Oil on canvas
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/// Little Dagmar looked up at him, wary
to go into Grandfather’s house, where he
invites chickens inside
just before they get fried.
He looks hungry, and she finds that scary.
/// He smiled down at the girl, who seemed shy.
“Come in, Dagmar, I’m not a bad guy.
And today, I’m a winner
because you’re here for dinner.”
And that’s when the child started to cry.
/// Grandpa carved his own shoes out of wood.
Both alike, therefore neither fit good.
When he walked he was hobbled,
and from side-to-side wobbled,
and his ankles turned out when he stood.
/// In his clogs, Grandpa, through the house, scurried.
He’d keep time to dance tunes as he hurried.
The “clops” on the floor
from his shoes made feet sore,
but his arteries’ clogs have him worried.
/// When you carve wooden shoes out of willow,
each foot looks like a small armadillo.
You’ll learn skills you can use
to carve more than just shoes.
You could whittle a Japanese pillow.
/// Mama bent down to Dagmar and frowned.
“There’s no cause to be standing your ground.
Come inside, take a nap.
I’ll let you wear my cap
with the red brim in back, turned around.”
/// The new bride, sent from Ireland, is Bridget,
but she’s not three years old, so don’t fidget.
Pedophilia’s no joke.
Long before words went “woke”
they’d call Bridget, (who’s thirty), a “midget.”