Franciszek Ejsmond, Polish
When the Acting Jobs Dried Up, Samantha Resorted To Posing For One of Those Creepy Online Corn Sites, 1886
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (text Google translated), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Google translated Polish Wikipedia page.
Perhaps more about him can be found here.
/// She’s a gypsy girl loaded with luck.
Corn cobs “fell off the back of a truck.”
Placed a pile in her lap
and inquires of each chap
who walks by, “Gadjo man, wanna shuck?”
/// She tells fortunes at fairs in a booth
where she’s labeled a “Sayer of Sooth.”
Does she fleece foolish guys
when she tells corny lies?
Well, there’s always a kernel of truth.
/// Cliché garb of a “Romany Maiden,”
carries “baggage” with which she is laden.
All the shiny coins that
she has sewn to her hat
Show the currencies she can be paid in.
/// With some silver, her palm you must cross,
and you’ve paid for some time to be “boss.”
But if Silver won’t do,
she’ll take Platinum, too,
for her gain is your credit card’s loss.
/// Don’t imply that this Gypsy’s a slut,
or you’re liable to find yourself cut.
Though she treats with great scorn
those who “butter her corn,”
she will gut men who corner her butt.
/// Why’s her lap stacked with fresh corn on top?
Well, she calls it her “birth control crop.”
When a man who is dreamy
gets her feeling too “steamy,”
she will stop when the corn starts to pop.
> or <
/// The priest smiles and his eyes start to glisten
as, this Gypsy, he offers to christen.
And that’s why corn is here.
She will lend him an ear,
just as long as she won’t have to listen.