Bernard Boutet de Monvel, French
“Okay, 80 More Miles To Go. Or We Could Rent a Boat When We Get There Like Normal People. Just Putting That Out There,” 1906
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// While Rémi and André tote that barge,
they debate what’s the right rate to charge.
They can’t bill by the hour;
using just muscle power,
they’re so slow that their fee’d be too large.
/// As they slowly but steadily trudge,
the big barge sometimes gets mired in sludge.
So they struggle and strain,
aching backs wracked with pain,
‘til the vessel will finally budge.
/// Why not harness some oxen to pull,
or some other brute, strong as a bull?
Beasts of burden must feed,
and these two haulers need
to be paid, to buy food, to feel full.
/// The two strain at the tow rope to lug
immense weight, so they sip from a jug.
Alcohol is a drug
which makes André feel smug:
“We should hire a small boat, called a tug!”
/// “We could then give up pulling to ride,
safe from snowfall and rain while inside.
We’d move barges so fast
we’d turn profits at last,
and be known as Les Haleurs with pride!”
/// (OK, reader, you’re on to me. Fine.
Several phrases I wrote aren’t mine.
“Tote that barge,” “wracked with pain,”
weren’t born in my brain.
I “got help” from this guy, Hammerstein.)
/// At each new service station they passed,
they were turned away, just like the last.
Every time there’s some weasel
who insists they need diesel.
But they’ll soon be back home (and get gassed).
> or <
/// If a twenty-mule team’s well-controlled,
it could haul a barge loaded with gold.
These two guys, (thin of thorax),
lug thirteen tons of borax,
which fills every square inch of the hold.
> or <
/// Just across the canal, looming near,
the two haulers ignore something queer.
Swirling colors and light
later lit up the night.
It’s the prototype Las Vegas Sphere.