Michiel Sweerts, Flemish
“Look at the Schedule, Chief. The Artist Has Me Down For 2 O’Clock and You For 3. So Kindly Move Your A** and Take Your Pillow With You,” ca. 1660-62
Oil on panel
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page.
/// Changing clothing is not what averts
any chance you’ll experience hurts.
Yes, you were in a cart wreck,
but it’s only on Star Trek
that you’ll die wearing red velour shirts.
/// The two Turks got a note that’s disturbin’
saying each one must take off his turban.
They have traveled from home
to this “city” in Rome
where they’re scheduled to meet with Pope Urban.
/// They could wear fezzes made out of satin,
but the real problem’s how those Turks fatten.
They will not stick a fork
into meat that is pork,
but the translator wrote in Pig-Latin.
/// Many Dervishes quite often find
that it’s hard to spin after they’ve dined.
That dizzying whirling
can set them off hurling,
and their turbans will often unwind.