Silvio Fernández RodrÃguez-Bastos, Spanish
“No, the Pizza’s Fine, Honey. I’m Just Still Trying To Figure Out How That Domino’s Guy Got It Here in 30 Minutes,” 1890
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (Google translated), perhaps in addition to what's in his Google translated Spanish Wikipedia page (Google translated Galician Wikipedia page has more).
/// It was three o’clock, time for Juan’s lunch,
with sangrÃa, (Maria’s fruit punch).
Then Juan froze in mid-chew—
was a roach in his stew?
He hoped not, but what made that loud crunch?
/// That’s a problem with dining outdoors.
You are sitting on dirt, not on floors.
Bugs of each type and size,
(ants and beetles and flies),
can crawl into your food and your drawers.
/// Please excuse Juan; he’s not being rude.
It is just that he’s not in the mood.
His expression does not show
any love for gazpacho.
Every day it’s the same Spanish food.
/// Juan had fought many bulls in his day.
Now retired, he pauses to pray.
Saying grace over lunch
he thanks God he can munch
criadillas, (bull’s testes sauté).
/// Many toros he’d killed with his sword,
with a tail or an ear as reward.
Then one bull got him back
with a sudden attack.
And that’s how, in his groin, he was gored.
/// The sad story I’ve rendered in verse,
if you think of it, could have been worse.
Had the bull gored his brain
he’d be dead or insane,
never meeting Maria, his nurse.