Constantin Hansen, Danish
The One Drawback To Bart’s Cool New Pipe Was He Could Only Smoke It in 4-Inch Heels, 1837
Oil on canvas
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/// Jørgen Sonne, the painter, had read
that a bad cough was something to dread.
Sought his doctor’s advice.
The reply was concise.
“Stay away from tobacco,” he’d said.
/// To quit smoking he’d always been loath,
though advised to (by Dad and Mom, both).
His addiction was strong,
yet he saw nothing wrong,
and it most likely stunted his growth.
/// Sonne’s feet dangled each time he sat.
(His short legs were the reason for that.)
He’s unusually small;
measures just four feet tall,
and a part of his height is his hat.
/// This fine portrait was painted in Rome.
Danish artists were far from their home.
Warmer sun and gold light
were a constant delight,
but the Romans called Jørgen a “gnome.”
(Needless to say, although Jørgen Sonne was a real person, all references to his diminutive stature and his relationship to smoking are invented by me.)
(Written in response to someone describing him as a tall leprechaun.)
/// Lost his pot o’ gold, now Og is broke.
Can’t afford a whole pipe-full to smoke.
Gold’s the source of his magic,
so his growth spurt is tragic.
Now a giant among the wee folk.