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Bruce Schwartz
Bruce Schwartz
25 days ago

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Last edited 25 days ago by Bruce Schwartz
Bruce Schwartz
Bruce Schwartz
25 days ago

MASTERPIECE #2199

from May 10, 2019

Bruce Schwartz
Bruce Schwartz
23 days ago

/// He’s drunk beer and his bladder could burst,
but won’t leave ’til he eats something first.
When he ordered he slurred,
but the blonde waitress heard.
Among customers, he was the wurst.

Bruce Schwartz
Bruce Schwartz
15 days ago
Reply to  Bruce Schwartz

/// At a table she serves In the Inn,
she takes note of the farmer’s sly grin.
But she won’t be dismayed;
many men diss the maid,
but she will not be tempted to sin.

/// Watch The Farmer and Maid do a “dance”
which, in his drunken mind, means romance.
When she brings him a snack,
his fat hand strokes her back,
but he’s not getting into her pants.

/// She brought sausage to him on a plate.
It’s her job, not the start of a date.
Yet, it might symbolize,
(in this drunk’s bloodshot eyes),
there’s a chance she’d be willing to mate.

/// As his blood/alcohol level rose,
his self-confidence steadily grows.
After multiple beers
his reflection appears
so attractive he thinks she’ll propose.

/// Not a bull, he’s a steer or an ox.
(Was unmanned long ago by the pox.)
Being served hasenpfeffer
by this comely young heifer,
he thinks ways to get inside the box.

/// With a man who’s been heavily drinking,
she can easily muddle his thinking.
For her time he may pay,
but she stays far away.
Implies more by her smiles and some winking.

Bruce Schwartz
Bruce Schwartz
15 days ago

/// In a tavern that serves “gassy” food
to a man who makes sounds that are rude,
windows open up wide
to let fresh air inside,
(and lit candles are not for the “mood”).

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