Henry Herbert La Thangue, English
It’s the Hot New Fitness Trend That’s Sweeping the Nation: Pail-ates!, Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
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/// Barefoot over sharp rocks Fetching Water
from Lake Garda walks Mara, the daughter
of the man in that boat.
He’s a wary old goat.
Fears she sins, so he’ll spy ‘til he’s caught her.
/// Back-and-forth she lugs pails made of copper,
working hard, doing nothing improper.
Yet her papa’s unkind,
with a sick, dirty mind.
Thinks he’ll catch her with someone atop her.
/// Underneath the red sail of his dinghy
he recalls that his wife had a fling. He
couldn’t keep Mara’s mama
due to scandalous drama
when she mocked both the man and his “thingie.”
/// (I’m not sure about how “Thangue” is said.
Never heard it, it’s something I read.
So I opted, this time,
not to go for the rhyme
and I wrote about “thingie” instead.)
/// His wife left him, with no prior plan.
She ran off with a traveling man,
leaving Mara behind,
who, at age five would find
that she needs to get tough… and she can.
/// She’s a fetching lass hired to fetch
water pails to Giovanni, a letch.
Much too frightened to kvetch,
she just poisoned the wretch.
Up the river she’s gone for a stretch.
/// Several times every day, without fail,
she would refill his pool, pail-by-pail.
She put up with this work,
even though he’s a jerk,
‘cause he’s wealthy, well-muscled, and male.
/// A nonbinary carried each bucket.
Brought to hospital after the truck hit.
Although christened as Clancy,
they now call themselves Nancy.
To avoid male appearance, Nan, tuck it.