Alexandre Cabanel, French
“For the Millionth Time, My Name’s Tyler. Why Do People Keep Calling Me Lance?,” 1881
Oil on canvas
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/// This oil painting is set in an age
when a Sword-Bearing Page was the rage.
See the face? Please ignore
this was “Ellen” before.
Things have changed; this is Elliot Page.
/// The kid’s job is to carry this sword
for his master, a medieval lord.
Dressed in Florentine Garb,
he’s not cut by the barb.
The blade’s wrapped, so that nobody’s gored.