Jan Daemen Cool, Dutch
Doctor Cornelis van der Heijde and His Wife, Who Just Got the Results of Her Latest Pregnancy Test, 1639
Oil on canvas
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/// I don’t think that I ever have seen
five young children so neat and so clean.
Note the fruit some have got,
yet not one stain or spot.
Jan Cool cheated and made them pristine.
/// Each child has a gold cross on display.
Yet their parents don’t — what does that say?
Until grown up enough
for a garlic-soaked ruff,
is this how they keep vampires away?
/// Now Cornelis must think of a ploy
to make love. His wife doesn’t enjoy
giving birth every year
and she’s starting to fear
she’ll have ten girls ere birthing a boy.