Josef Danhauser, Austrian
“Um, Larry? Why Does the Inscription on the Back of This Locket You Gave Me Say ‘World’s #1 Grandma?,'” 1836
Oil on canvas
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
/// Die Begegnung, (“Encounter” or “Meeting”)
shows this couple’s encounter. It’s fleeting.
She’s returning his locket.
She had learned (with a shock) it
was the proof her fiancé was cheating.
/// In the locket’s his picture; she drew him.
Showed the drawing to friends. They all knew him.
Went by more than one name,
but his face was the same.
He would sweet-talk each girl ‘til she’d screw him.
/// So, from bedroom to bedroom he’d skulk.
If a woman refused him, he’d sulk.
As his gift, a “gold” locket
would be slipped in her pocket.
It turned out they’d been purchased in bulk.
/// ‘Neath this tree they had shared their first kiss,
and he’d promised she’d have married bliss.
But she’d learned from her friends
how this tale always ends:
Once he’s ”hit” them, he leaves them a Miss.
/// She liked necking, so he was a necker.
Swore with beautiful jewels he’d bedeck her.
But his pledges were lies.
Soon he’d head for the thighs.
Seems this “kisser” was more of a pecker.
/// And yet, back in her heart hope would spring.
On one knee he presented a ring.
She trudged out of these woods
what’s been called, “damaged goods,”
for, it seems, she had not learned a thing.