Charles Philips, English
“Hey There, Check Out This Baby: Low Mileage, Runs Great, and Gets 40 Miles Per Feedbag. With Air Conditioning, Heated Seats, and a Sporty One Horsepower Engine. Go Ahead — Take It For a Test Gallop,” 1739
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, is provided by his Wikipedia page.
/// While he stood for his Portrait he pondered.
To a jumble of thoughts his mind wandered.
Hours holding this pose
in these stiff, itchy clothes;
he resents all the time being squandered.
/// Thomas Congreve has let his brain idle:
Dressed in black, a groom holds his steed’s bridle.
Thoughts of bridal and groom
to Thom signify doom.
He must marry and feels suicidal.
/// Congreve now is a mere twenty-five.
Being rich it’s good being alive.
But acquiring a wife
will upend his whole life,
and he fears that once wed he won’t thrive.
/// If you study this painting in portions,
you will notice some faulty proportions.
See the horse? A disgrace.
You think, “Why the short face?”
And the man has his own odd distortions.
/// He’s no giant— the truth is much queerer.
Are their heads far away; bodies nearer?
No, on closer inspection
this whole scene’s a reflection
that you’d see in an old fun-house mirror.