Vlaho Bukovac, Croatian
Ohhh, Okay. So Now We Know Why Olivia Always Keeps Her Camera Off in Our Zoom Meetings, 1914
Oil on canvas
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived, if necessary), here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, and here (both the Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox browsers can automatically translate the linked webpage, if necessary), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Croatian Wikipedia page has more).
/// In Front of the (small) Toilet Mirror,
Ljubica was forced to sit nearer.
What had looked back at her
was an indistinct blur,
and for makeup she needs to see clearer.
/// One problem? She’s very nearsighted,
and her dressing room isn’t well lighted.
She had hoped to have viewed
her whole body while nude.
Will her blind date tonight be excited?
/// Her real problem is more than her eyes.
Poor Ljubica’s obsessed with her size.
She has grave body issues:
Stuffs her bodice with tissues,
and is stressed by the girth of her thighs.
/// Sturdy limbs aren’t something to dread.
Some have legs far too skinny instead.
Does she have “thunder thighs”?
I see only blue skies;
this whole “problem” is all in her head.
/// To examine herself head-to-toe,
there is nowhere Ljubica can go.
With no mirrors full-length,
she relies on core-strength,
and contorts to observe down below.
/// She’s too hard on herself with inspections
of her form to find small imperfections.
The man in her life
wants to make her his wife,
for her body inspires his erections.
/// A big sun hat might come across cheesy,
Plus, she thinks that the beach will be breezy.
But just why did she choose
to put on these red shoes?
Does her toe “cleavage” make her look easy?
Correction:
… Plus, she thinks the nude beach will be breezy.