Albert Guillaume, French
The Museum Tour Took an Ugly Turn When Victor Ripped One in Front of the Klimt, Date Unknown
Oil on panel
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Info about this artist is pointed to by one of my comments at another blog entry.
/// Here, The Masterpiece makes its debut
for art critics to judge and review.
One squats close to the frame.
Tries to make out the name
of the man it’s attributed to.
/// If the painter is someone who’s famed,
by this critic his works are acclaimed.
With an artist unknown,
then the critical tone
will be harsh and adversely inflamed.
/// Over time, this fraud’s critical taste
has, by popular will, been debased.
If it’s worth a high price,
then he’ll write it looks nice.
(For a bribe, bad reviews are erased.)
/// Other critics don’t know what to make
of this painting; perhaps it’s a fake.
They will test it to see
if it’s real— for a fee.
It appears that they’re all on the take.
/// A rich couple looks down at the floor.
Choosing art is a tiresome bore.
They have come here with cash.
Though the art may be trash,
they will buy works that match their decor.
/// Many years from now, this oil may be
posted online and viewed there for free.
Those by whom it is seen
will ask, “What does it mean?”
Some will comment for thousands to see.
/// Though this artist’s skills may not surpass
all the others down in Montparnasse,
and his goddess from Greece
is no true Masterpiece,
you’ll admit she’s a real piece of mass.
/// Fine Art prices may well be inflated
when the artist has been overrated.
Buyers rue the high cost
if its value is lost
and they’re left with an oil that they hated.
/// Wealthy people will often invest
in fine art, but the thing they like best
is buy when costs are low,
then sell after they grow.
By aesthetics they aren’t impressed.
/// Ancient cultures told fart jokes. Insightful
that so many have found them delightful.
Little children see fart
as the joke’s highest art;
then, when grown, some decide they are frightful.