Ferdinand Georg Waldmüller, Austrian
“Okay Folks, Could We Adjust Your Eyelines a Bit? Ma’am, If You Would, Look Directly Into Your Husband’s Eyes and Not So Much at His Toupée,” 1824
Oil on panel
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Artist info is pointed to by my comment at another blog entry.
/// The Cartographer Jüttner, (Professor),
has a cute wife— a colorful dresser.
He should be overjoyed,
but he looks up annoyed.
She draws focus; he wants to repress her.
/// Here’s the problem: She knows that she’s cute.
When she brings him a basket of fruit,
her fair shoulder is bare,
bright blue scarf on her hair.
Next to her, he comes off as a brute.
/// He was told that this portrait would show
him at work at his desk, and although
that is technically true,
she’s in red, white and blue,
leaning over a drab dork below.
/// I have not learned this couple’s true history.
(Further research may help solve the mystery.)
My cliche story is:
Prof. weds student of his,
(then a “rash” turns them both a bit blistery).
/// His resentment is building, because
he’d been willing to “bend” a few laws
to make this girl his bride.
Now she stands at his side
and her beauty contrasts with his flaws.
/// He’d explained to his gold-digging honey,
that his salary’s so small it’s funny.
He made maps and he taught.
They don’t pay what they ought.
It’s a good thing he comes from old money.
/// Those with beauty are often a winner,
and I don’t mean the kind that is “inner.”
Personality’s great,
and big brains— what’s to hate?
But they won’t get her asked out for dinner.
——— or ———
/// He’d explained to his gold-digging honey,
that his salary’s so small it’s funny.
He made maps and he taught.
They don’t pay what they ought.
It’s a good thing he comes from old money.
——— or ———
/// Bananas and cukes and zucchini
were the only foods here to be seen. He
said “I’ll bring you a wienie.”
But for meat-based cuisine he
offered one cocktail frank, which was teeny.