Jacob Heinrich Elbfas, Swedish
By the Time Arthur Realized They Hadn’t Said “Simon SAYS Put Your Right Hand On Your Hip,” It Was Too Late. And This Was Why He Hated Children’s Birthday Parties, 1631
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Swedish Wikipedia page has more).
/// Henrik Fleming, the seagoing Swede,
was an Admiral— well-known indeed.
He would sail into battle
with his large silver rattle,
and by rattling foes, he’d succeed.
/// If he claims that that rattle’s a “mace,”
Henrik’s telling you lies to your face.
It’s no club ceremonial;
there is true testimonial
that it clatters when shaken in place.
/// He’s a nobleman and diplomat,
a lord marshal, and much more than that.
He was, in warfare, feared,
and he wore his full beard
cut across at right angles, pressed flat.
/// Wearing rings on his pinkies and thumbs
shows his wealth; (gems are worth tidy sums).
But his marital status?
Won’t proclaim that fact gratis.
Only shared with some in-the-know chums.
/// Henrik married his sister-in-law,
Ebba Bååt. Did it stick in his craw
that his brother’d been first?
That his bride had “rehearsed”
with his sibling might seem like a flaw.
/// Brothers Fleming were generous guys.
Never trafficked in cheating and lies.
All in family kept
women with whom they slept,
giving meaning to “Family Ties.”