Sigismund Righini, German
Woman Practicing Her Look of Disappointment Before Stepping on the Bathroom Scale, 1904
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived, if necessary), and here (except for some linked webpages, Google translated, if necessary), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// Else blushes, her face turned aside.
She backs into the curtain to hide.
Holds her eyes tightly shut
as she covers her butt.
She prevents, from the rear, being eyed.
/// You might think she’d not mind being viewed
when her racket is modeling nude,
but severe cellulite
on her rump is a sight
she won’t show, (and she’s also tattooed).
/// She’ll pose full frontal nude without dread,
or lay flat on her back in a bed.
Naked portraits of Else
are a product that sells. A
bare rear? Paint someone else there instead.
/// After Sigismund asked, “Do you mind
posing here?” Else quickly declined.
“But, I’ll stand there for certain
if you first hang a curtain
to obscure that full mirror behind.”
/// Else has an identical twin,
but identical they’ve rarely been.
Elke thought it her duty
to work on her booty,
so her hips have stayed firm, taut and thin.
/// Meanwhile Else has not given birth,
a good cause, says sis Elke, for mirth.
Never breastfed at all,
so her breasts never fall,
(unlike Elke’s), much closer to earth.
/// She knows just how to angle her head
so her ears are seen edgewise instead
of protruding so far
her head looks like a jar,
but she hears every whisper that’s said.
/// “Hey, Jug Ears!” is the insult she hears
when boors notice her prominent ears.
Even with her hair loose
they protrude— it’s no use—
but when baring these “jugs” she gets cheers.
/// Posing nude is the perfect distraction
from a negative “big ear” reaction.
All her modeling dough
she will save up to go
in for surgery— taking some action.