Johann Matthias Ranftl, Austrian
“Let Me Put It This Way, Sweetheart. If You’re Asking Me If You Should Give Up Your Job As William Shakespeare’s Stunt Double, the Answer’s a Hard No,” 1844
Oil on panel
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived, if necessary), here (Google translated, if necessary; sadly, the embedded German note is an image and thus doesn’t automatically translate), here (if truncated,can be read in full for free on Fridays), and here (Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox browsers can automatically translate, if necessary), perhaps in addition to what’s in his German Wikipedia page (Google translated, if necessary).
/// Johann’s wife (who’s surprisingly hot),
is shown dandling their one-year-old tot.
She admires her man’s art,
while their dog, for its part,
seems ashamed, or afraid he’ll be caught.
/// The sweet baby is petting their hound
who shows signs of discomfort profound.
For attention it begs,
with tail tucked between legs.
Did it drop a “surprise” on the ground?
/// For this portrait, he told his wife, “Please,
smile a natural smile. Don’t say cheese.”
He suspects she feels shame
for her new married name.
(Ranftl sounds like a half-suppressed sneeze.)
/// While he painted this, Johann would pose
a close look-alike wearing his clothes.
Angled mirrors reflection
showed his face to perfection,
but his pet dog’s confusion still shows.