Alfred Stevens, Belgian
“That’s My Bad, Miss. Before I Dusted You, I Should’ve Gotten Your Consent,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
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Artist info is pointed to by my comment at another blog entry.
/// As a parlor maid Ida was hired,
and yet secretly she now aspired
to be a connoisseur
of great art. The chauffeur
admired statues, and him she desired.
/// So she paused in her dusting and sweeping
to see what in this sculpture was keeping
the chauffeur mesmerized.
Twice now she had surprised
him right here at this bronze figure peeping.
/// It’s a woman who’s nude and she’s kneeling,
in a futile attempt at concealing
her most feminine parts.
Connoisseurs of the arts
found her shyness, (guessed Ida), appealing.
/// To wed Dareau, the chauffeur, she plotted,
because Ida was wildly besotted.
To remind him, she tried,
of the statue he’d eyed.
When she saw him, with crossed arms she squatted.
/// In attempting its bareness to hide,
the bronze showed off its most modest side.
So, if Dareau she’d win,
she thought, never show skin.
(This false logic’s why Ida’s no bride.)