Richard Redgrave, English
“Don’t Worry, Cinderella. After Each Girl Tries on the Slipper, We Spray It With That Stuff They Use on Bowling Shoes,” 1842
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page.
Archive of 4th here link webpage.
/// “If the shoe fits,” thought Cindy’s step-sister,
“then I’m Mrs. to Prince Charming’s Mister.”
But try as she might,
the shoe’s still too tight,
(the sole reason he had to resist her).
/// Sister two tried the contest to steal.
With a knife she lopped off her right heel.
But the blood and the gore
pouring onto the floor
caught them wise and torpedoed the deal.
/// Cinderella slipped in past the guards,
donned the shoe; gave the Prince her regards.
His heart, Cindy had stolen,
but her foot became swollen
and the glass slipper burst into shards.
/// Why would Charming, so rich and elite,
marry this girl, with ash on her seat?
Plus she talked with the mice
and asked trees for advice.
Truth? The Prince only got off on feet.
/// She’s the Belle of the Ball no one knows,
who wore glass shoes through which he saw toes.
As her feet he inspected;
the glass also reflected
and then Charming’s “libido” arose.
/// Prince lives up to his name, which is “Charming.”
He is handsome, polite and disarming.
His bride’s named after soot
and he’d asked for her FOOT.
Didn’t ask for her hand; that’s alarming!
/// Many fairy tale purists prefer
slippers, not made of glass, but of FUR.
Those two words, people say,
sound alike en français,
(but to Disney the world will defer).
/// When you think of it, glass shoes are weird.
How would such a thing be engineered?
Fur is soft— once was living;
glass is too unforgiving.
It’s so sharp severed veins should be feared.