John Russell, English
“Why Yes, I AM an Aries. How on Earth Did You Guess?,” 1799
Pastel on medium, cream, slightly textured wove paper mounted on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// John (the wool merchant) Collins loved lamb
fried in batter and served with mint jam.
Lambs grow fast to adults,
and the sheepish results
are his cook will be battering ram.
/// John had heard what some lonely men do,
with no women around to pursue.
Before bringing this sheep
to the home where they’ll sleep,
he made certain it wasn’t a ewe.
/// After two bites at mealtime: “Enough!”
“I don’t want any more of this stuff.”
They’d said ram, batter-fried,
was like lamb, but they lied.
Collins’ verdict on dinner— Ram tough.
/// Waste is something John Collins would scorn.
Take the spirals of bone which adorn
the now butchered sheep’s head.
In his Bible he’d read
Hebrew shofar is made from ram’s horn.
/// So, despite his devout Christian views,
he’d try selling that skull to the Jews.
Collins hadn’t foreseen
that its death was “unclean,”
and those unkosher horns they’d refuse.
/// To show poof of no evil intent,
Sam first asked the ram for its consent.
The big sheep wasn’t shy
and its bleated reply
had been, “Meh!!!” (No one knew what that meant.)