Wouter Crabeth II, Dutch
“Well, Technically You Have TWO Pairs. I Would Raise,” After 1626
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3315
Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// These Card Players by cheats are disgusted.
Noor keeps winning; (she’s not to be trusted).
In her cleavage she hid
cards to win every bid,
so Jip pulled her blouse down. Now she’s busted!
/// A bit flustered, Noor firmly denied
that those cards she’d intended to hide.
The male gamblers, no rubes,
said, “Keep showing your boobs.
If they stay card-free, we’ll let it slide.”
/// Jip and Joost ended up with red faces
when Noor won once again, holding aces.
They had both kept their eyes
on her breasts, but… surprise!
Cards can also be hid other places.
/// True, Noor toils in “the oldest profession,”
but you mustn’t get the wrong impression.
Some flesh she may flash,
but unless she gets cash,
she won’t share an extreme indiscretion.
/// At all card games, Miss Noor was a newbie.
In the pot she put down a small ruby.
Though upset with the cost
when, her jewel, she lost,
her luck changed when Jip fondled her booby.
/// He is clearly not taken aback
by the naked display of her rack.
Had she shown him her rear
he’d have grinned ear-to-ear,
and might even have gone on attack.
/// He won’t look at her freshly rouged nips,
so she’ll try out her gay best friend’s tips:
“Try to deepen your voice.
Get him drunk, and rejoice
that you’re blessed with those firm boyish hips.”