B. Fitzenhofer, German (copyist)
Germany’s Count Heinrich VI, Four-Time Professional Water Skiing Champion, 1911 (copy of a 17th century work)
Oil on canvas
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
/// Vain Sir Percy did not spare the whip.
He was harsh with the men in his grip.
One was sick of his crap.
Percy woke from his nap
with some permanent ink on his lip.
/// Percy noticed it when he undressed,
and he loved it! It gave his face “zest.”
He resolved to grow hair
where those lines were drawn there.
Then he saw the dick drawn on his chest.
/// A Field Marshall of valor and passion,
Heinrich’s foes in a battle turned ashen.
Those who’ve fought often tell
that to make war is Hell,
but for Heinrich, it seems, war is fashion.
/// Clouds of smoke are lit orange by flame
while the cannons behind him take aim
at the horsemen below
who race off to and fro.
Meanwhile, Heinrich Reuss basks in his fame.
/// After posing, the Field Marshall’s called
back to battle, to maul or be mauled.
First his helmet he’ll wear.
As for all of that hair,
it’s a wig. (Underneath it, he’s bald.)
/// His strict hair regime keeps la Comte busy.
Smells of tonics and creams make him dizzy.
Yet he dare not relent.
Slacking off would have meant
having hair with split ends, or worse, frizzy.
> or <
/// Though he wears ornate armor of black
and Zendaya’s wig curled down his back,
you can tell by his face
he’s that famed flying ace
from the old comic strip, “Smilin’ Jack.”
/// To become the next King was his goal;
for allegiance he’d sell his own soul.
Johann Drumpft had to know
who’d support him, and so
he is pictured here taking a pole.