Edvard Munch, Norwegian
Monica’s Least Favorite Part of Being an Instacart Shopper Was the Awkwardness of Bubble Bath Deliveries, 1930
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archive if necessary), here, here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, here (archive if necessary), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// Marat, in his medicinal bath,
had unknowingly earned Charlotte’s wrath.
With a sharp six-inch knife,
Corday ended his life.
Did she plan it? Well, you do the math.
/// He had let her in, though he’s undressed,
to hear names that she claimed she possessed.
He cried, “Help me, my friend!”
as he came to his end,
when she thrust her blade deep in his chest.
/// Charlotte hoped to preserve the French nation
by arranging the tyrant’s cessation.
The sassy assassin
was sentenced, alas, in
four days to feel decapitation.
/// Since the sharp blade so speedily fell—
pain or no pain, we cannot now tell.
Did life linger a bit
after head and neck split?
It’s a thought on which I shall not dwell.
/// Some still claim that Corday wasn’t dead
when a carpenter picked up her head
and slapped Charlotte’s face.
Did she feel the disgrace?
Those who saw her cheek said it blushed red.
/// That insulting slap was a disgrace;
it was out of bounds and out of place.
In this most public forum
there’s a need for decorum.
It seems Corday and he both lost face.
/// To more fully dishonor her name,
vengeful Jacobins wanted to claim
that Corday was no virgin,
but the autopsy surgeon
said she was and refused to defame.
/// Munch had painted the scene like a dream:
weird perspective and colors extreme.
And a loose scribbled line
in a childlike design.
Soon she’ll stab him, and then there’s “The Scream.”
/// She is clutching a bottle of pills;
a prescription her pharmacist fills.
She called out to him, hopin’
he can help get it open.
The cap’s “child-proof,” and she has no skills.
/// The man in the bathtub is beaming.
For a very long time he’d been scheming
to cut off her meds,
causing panic she dreads.
In a minute she’ll run from here screaming!