Alfred Émile Léopold Stevens, Belgian
“Yeah, I Think You Overdid It With the Stuffing, Sis. If You Need to Hurl, I’ll Hold Your Hair,” 1874
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here (archived if necessary), here (click its links for more info), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Dutch Wikipedia page has more).
/// The suave conman who had her in thrall
sent a “Dear Jeanne note” after the Ball.
After taking Jeanne’s gold
he left; now her world’s cold,
so she’s wearing a rug as a shawl.
/// Jeanne, in confidence, told her good friend
of the note and her liaison’s end.
Edda doesn’t retort—
she gives moral support,
(but she hopes that soon Jeanne will unbend).
/// It was awful that this should befall
on the night of the Thanksgiving Ball.
Jeanne had waited in vain
for her faithless ex-swain.
Then his note arrived, making Jeanne bawl.
/// But, in time Jeanne was crying no longer.
The support of her friend made her stronger.
She stood up with a shrug
to discard the fringed rug,
and vowed vengeance on those who would wrong her.
/// Edda’s brothers are all big and strong.
They could find the guy who did Jeanne wrong
and they then could “persuade”
him to have her repaid,
which would help, but she’d still miss his schlöng.
/// Please don’t think that my previous verse,
is describing a payback perverse.
Edda’s bothers’ attack was to get Jeanne’s gold back,
not castration or anything worse.
/// Jeanne would miss the erotic sensation
she received from penile stimulation
because he’d gone away,
I did not mean to say
she would seek vengeance through mutilation!