Federico Andreotti, Italian
“Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture” (Page 21), Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3222
Info about this artist is pointed to in my comment at another blog entry.
/// Giovanni engaged in Flirtation
with two women not quite of his station.
His knobbed staff, long and wide,
has bees buzzing inside,
which produces a pleasant vibration.
/// The two girls are admiring his cane,
but fear rods of that size might cause pain.
So he smiles to explain
that if he were their swain,
he could teach them some uses profane.
/// True, Giovanni’s a lecherous wretch
who was exiled for years at a stretch,
but he’s loved by the pooch
(who’s his wingman for cooch).
When the cane is thrown, Cane* will fetch.
*Cane (pronounced KAH-nay) is Italian for “dog.”
/// Glib Giovanni will be disappointed.
At one end, his long stick’s sharply pointed.
When the girls notice this,
they, their suitor dismiss.
(That’s too bad— they are both double-jointed.)
/// “Let me prove to you ladies that I’m
at my vigorous sexual prime.
Your “rose buds,” on my oath,
I swear I’ll pluck them both,
(but ‘twill have to be one at a time).”
> or <
/// Giovanni was always a snob,
who believed he exceeded “the mob.”
He, in fact, was a slob
and his wife called his knob
a minuscule mushroom-shaped blob.