Nicolao Landucci, Italian
“Yes, That’s Taylor Swift Up There, But Don’t Get All Excited. She’s Hooking Up With Travus Kelcerius,” 1850
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links to more info, about this artist can be found here (but, sculptor, not sculpture), here (Google translated), here (text Google translated), and here (Google translated). He currently has no Wikipedia page in any language.
/// Back in Ancient Rome, the Gladiator
was the star of the circus “thee-ā-ter.”
(Romans also got bread.)
Men would fight until dead,
sent by stronger men to their creator.
/// To go out there and fight, he’s commanded.
He approaches his foe feeling stranded.
He’d been dressed for the field:
Helmet, mail, sword and shield,
despite telling the guards, “I’m left-handed!”
/// “Sorry, Spartacus, we’re only able
in a painting to show half the fable.
We’ll paint combat by sword,
but your slave-girl reward
has to wait for the movies and cable.”
/// Men who love to view half-naked men,
rarely also will harbor a yen
to see young girls unclad.
Skip the lass; show the lad,
(with some hints of an S&M den).
“Joey, do you like movies about Gladiators?”
/// Yes, that IS Taylor Swift in the stands.
When the fighting ends, watch Taylor’s hands
for “thumbs up” or “thumbs down.”
Even one fleeting frown
incites “Swifties,” (the hordes she commands).
/// For, there’s nothing you’re able to do,
issue statements, deny things or sue—
that will do you some good
if her mad Swifties should
think her next song is all about you!