Brian Hatton, British
“I’m Sorry Sir, But You’re Either Going To Have To Put On Some Pants, Or Find Yourself Another Chipotle,” 1906
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info (especially that pointed to by the last here link), about this artist can be found here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// Adam needed to perch on that stool,
but bare flesh on dark leather’s not cool.
To make sure he won’t “stick”
he removed his clothes quick
and placed them on the stool, (he’s no fool).
/// He’s generically called Seated Nude.
Turns his back to us. Bad attitude?
No, if lavishly paid
“Your Ad Here” is displayed.
He will have his back fully tattooed.
/// When they paid him what he’d asked them to,
Adam finally got that tattoo.
Getting inked really hurt.
Contract states: “wear no shirt,”
so in cold weather, Adam turns blue.
/// Though the flesh of his back is still tender,
he displays the ad in all its splendor.
When he’s seen on TV,
networks air it for free.
It’s a mugshot with “NEVER SURRENDER.”
/// We seek images we’d rather see.
This is one on which many agree.
The nude gentleman’s cleft
doesn’t carry much heft.
(It is not all it’s cracked up to be.)
> or <
/// Yes, the painter’s a Brit. Even so,
is the model, too? How could we know?
He’s quite pale, that is true,
but the most precise clue
are his teeth, and from here they don’t show.