Guillaume Voiriot, French
“I’ll Get To Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto in D Major in a Moment. But First, a Little Hendrix,” ca. 1780-87
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived if necessary), here, and here, perhaps in addition to his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page may have more).
/// This French gentleman daintily plucks
at his instrument’s strings, and that mucks
up the violin’s tone,
(it will plink but not moan).
Without long sustained sound his song sucks.
/// Monsieur claims he prefers pizzicato.
“Better fingers than bow” is his motto.
But, in fact, his technique
with a bow is so weak
he employs horsehair only when blotto.
/// To Monsieur I should not be unfair.
He coordinates outfits with care.
And he wants us to know
that he’s using a bow.
(There’s a black one securing his hair.)
/// Proper form when one plays violin
is to tuck it right under the chin,
but the gentleman can’t
hold his head at a slant,
so he strums it like a mandolin.
/// Violin sounds, he found much too mellow.
He moved up to viola, then cello.
Then, at last, double-bass,
which fits in a large case
within which one could hide a small fellow.
/// At the Paris hotel where he dwells,
there’s a guard who, young ladies, expels.
Did he smuggle in belles
inside contrabass shells?
A true gentleman, he never tells.