Gerard van Honthorst, Dutch
“You Think YOUR Driver’s License Photo Is Embarrassing? Check This Guy’s Out,” 1625
Oil on canvas
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Artist info is pointed to in my comment at another blog entry.
/// “My full cleavage might seem to suggest when
I’m for sale I appeal just to breast men.
Here, check out my medallion—
you backside-loving stallion.
See? My rear-end is also the best. Ten!”
/// “You claim women with dimples you chase,
but you haven’t looked once at my face.
They’re right here on each cheek;
if more dimples you seek,
here they’re pictured in one other place.
/// A wise courtesan must advertise,
if she wants to attract well-heeled guys.
With her “wares” on display,
(only slightly risqué),
she confirms that her bust’s oversize.
/// Her medallion’s a thing she employs
to attract the type man who enjoys
viewing girls from the back
(so his rear sneak attack
can be done while he’s picturing boys.)
/// Her tight bodice both lifts and supports,
while the shape of her bust it distorts.
Some, with corsets compressed,
for a stylish flat chest,
but none show off their legs, wearing shorts.
/// If she wants to be paid for a tussle,
a wise courtesan knows how to hustle.
Her breasts thrust out toward men;
that won’t be seen again
‘til the bra Hughes designed for Jane Russell.
/// As an engineer, Howard Hughes swore it
was a marvel, and Jane would adore it.
When she finally tried
it, she cast it aside.
Truth is— (in the film) Jane never wore it.