Martin Lambert, French
The Bane of the Artist’s Existence: the Backseat Painter, ca. 1675
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3079
“Do you MIND?”
Info and links that point to perhaps more info about this artist can be found in his Google translated French Wikipedia page.
/// Painters, Charles and (cuz) Henri Beaubrun,
took turns painting her portrait, for fun.
Their collaboration
lead to irritation
over which signed his name when it’s done.
/// These two cousins worked for the French Crown.
And, as artists, they earned their renown,
not by painting bare skin,
(though that isn’t a sin),
but by hyping the Queen’s poshest gown.
/// Each French cousin could pass for a twin:
same strong nose, piercing eyes, and cleft chin.
Sketched Queen Marie-Thérèse
as though she shared their face.
Could the Queen and the cousins be kin?
/// Though one set of grandparents they share,
true “identical” cousins are rare.
In nineteen-sixty-three
they’d be shown on TV.
That’s when Patty Duke played such a pair.
/// When the portrait’s chalk outline was drawn,
then the various paints were brushed on.
It was then they decided
how the work was divided,
and when each would, the painter’s smock, don.
/// They agreed upon what they would do:
giving numbers to each colored hue.
Charles did even oils. He
left the odd for Henri.
“Paint by numbers” had made its debut.
/// He daubs ochre in spots marked with 9’s,
but that’s not where his artistry shines.
Any fool can match “umber”
with a specified number,
but Henri colors inside the lines!
/// “I’m an artist of rigor and skill,
but my model just wouldn’t hold still.
She’d turn left and then right,
muddling all lines of sight.
I could draw her… if only she’d chill.”