Tibout Regters, Dutch
“Huh? Oh, Right Down the Hall On Your Left. And If You Would Be So Kind, Good Sir, Grant Me the Favor of a Courtesy Flush,” 1747
Oil on panel
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As the painting presented attests/
In his bathrobe he greeted his guests/
But his awful toupee/
Scared the women away/
And the kids who remained were all pests.
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (Google translation currently repeats some of the text), and here (Google translated), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Dutch Wikipedia page has more).
/// The engraver, Jan Philips, is bitter.
Thought he’d know real gold coins by their glitter.
Jan was paid in fake Guilders
by some printing press builders
to be their paper cash counterfeiter.
/// He first forged the ten pound British note.
“None can tell it’s not real,” he would gloat.
Sold the plates he’d engraved
to those printers, (depraved),
for lead coins with a thin gilded coat.
/// Jan is stunned that a “partner” deceives.
When the man who had cheated him leaves,
Jan points toward the man’s back.
“I have scruples they lack.
There’s no honor, it seems, among thieves.”
/// His white wig and his robe give him clout
with the law, should arrest come about.
With black cloth, the robe’s lined,
so, when he’s in a bind
he plays judge (when it’s turned inside-out).
/// This engraver, whose full name is Jan
Casper Philips, sits in his salon.
Even though he can boast
he’s been friendly to most,
his friends ghosted him after his con.