Jean-Baptiste Greuze, French
On Days When Glenn Was Too Busy To Fit In Guitar Practice AND a Yoga Class, He Tried To Save Time By Multi-Tasking, 1757
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// As he tunes his guitar, he’s resorting
to some awkward and painful contorting.
When it’s strummed out of tune
nearby pigeons will swoon,
and to catch birds like that isn’t sporting.
/// There’s, in fact, a germane explanation
for his body’s odd orientation.
The guitar is topnotch.
When it’s pressed to his crotch
he can feel the correct note’s vibration.
/// This guitar player, when he is strummin’
gets ecstatic. The vibrations summon
paroxysms of joy
which confuse the poor boy.
(Doesn’t know if he’s goin’ or comin’.)
/// He got flexible stretching in gyms,
where he used his guitar to play hymns.
A bee buzzed in attack,
his left arm then reached back—
(made a swastika with his four limbs).