Georges Rouget, French
“Guess What? I Invented These New Cloth Underpants That Babies Can Poop In Without Making a Mess. I Call Them ‘Nappies’ — Short For ‘Napoleon Panties,'” 1812
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// Here Napoléon (this guy again?)
shows the child King of Rome to his men.
He’s the French Prince, mon cher,
(and not just of Bel-Air).
Might become second Emperor “N.”
/// Bonaparte’s sole legitimate heir.
Nap hopes one day his titles to share.
Empress Marie Louise,
now Napoléon’s main squeeze,
says, for “Franz” to succeed Dad, a prayer.
/// Dignitaries are here to report
as men of the Imperial Court.
Bonaparte tells them, “Folks,
I have heard all the jokes.
Here’s the only Napoléon who’s short!”
// When Napoléon Two was a kid
his fate hinged on what cher papa did.
After père abdicated,
his young son wasn’t fated
to (for long) wear the Emperor’s “lid.”
/// When a baby his age isn’t crapping,
you will most often find the kid napping,
or breastfeeding, but please,
not by Marie Louise.
Summon Junior’s wet nurse here by clapping.
/// Born in Paris, he’s now King of Rome,
and he reigns from his cradle at home.
Don’t care where he’ll reside
if he’s on the “Right” side.
Lives in France, far from Saint Peter’s dome.
/// Some today feel the same, it would seem.
Not a native? Deflect, lie and scheme.
Don’t admit you live THERE,
and some voters won’t care,
just as long as you play on their team.