Albin Egger-Lienz, Austrian
Sofia Suddenly Blanked in the Middle of Her Kindergarten Entrance Exam. What WAS the Central Theme of “Green Eggs and Ham?” C’mon Girl — You Know This!, 1895
Oil on panel
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here (Google translated), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// Artist Dad’s at the end of his tether.
Daughter Ila shows no signs of whether
she will learn what he taught.
That young girls really ought
to sit down with their two knees together.
/// Because Ila is strong and petite,
and her weight mostly rests on her feet,
and she pushes hard where
both forearms meet the chair;
her tush hovers high over the seat.
/// Ila’s mother, a staunch hygiene lover,
is the parent who taught her to hover.
It’s the best thing to do
in a strange public loo,
when you can’t find a dry paper cover.
/// One can give public toilets a score
from “deplore” through “ignore” to “adore.”
I have read, in Japan,
they’re high-tech, spîc’n’span.
Parts of France— they’re a hole in the floor.
/// With the glare of a zealot accuser,
it appears only pain could amuse her.
Does she have demon’s eyes?
No, to my great surprise,
this young child is an Adderall user!
/// She’d been reading, her father then said
that she ought to watch TV instead.
Here she stares at the screen
while her anger, unseen,
made her blow the set up (with her head).
/// Miss Wormwood (Matilda) is “funny;”
she loves books while her father loves money.
She moved things with her mind,
then Miss Trunchbull resigned,
and Matilda now lives with Miss Honey.