Christian Ruben, German
Columbus’ Voyage, Day 287: The Crew Spots a Starbucks, 1846
Oil on canvas
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THROWBACK THURSDAY: MASTERPIECE #1985 (6/29/18)
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (Google translated), here (Google translated), and here (Google translated, click ADB), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// Modern viewers observed this and laughed.
All their poses seem choreographed.
Every crewman onboard,
their great Captain, adored,
(all who didn’t went overboard aft).
/// When Columbus’ crew heard the news
that they’d come to the end of their cruise,
they were too overjoyed.
Now his wrath they’d avoid;
there were natives there Chris could abuse.
/// Back then, ignorant sailors thought that
Earth was not like a sphere; it was flat.
This shows Chris make his pledge
not to sail off the edge,
thus allaying their fears they’d go “splat!”
/// When you’ve been several months under sail,
and your only companions are male,
a mermaid has appeal
(manatee or for real)
even though her flesh looks deathly pale.
/// They left Spain in fourteen ninety-two.
True, Columbus, three ships, and each crew.
But some other folks split
(who were not cool with it).
That’s the year Spain expelled every Jew.
/// Told “Leave Spain,” some Jews chose to decline.
They converted; hoped all would be fine.
It was rumored they’d pray
in their old Hebrew way;
called “Marranos,” (in other words, “swine”).
/// Some historians say there are clues
that Columbus was one of those Jews.
But his many misdeeds
and his cruelty leads
me to think Jews would call that “Fake news.”